Healthy Lifestyle changes to boost chances of pregnancy!

Sometimes, it only takes a healthy lifestyle change to boost the chances of pregnancy especially those who are having problems with infertility and other medical conditions. 

The first two to four weeks of pregnancy is very critical. During this time, a tiny placenta and embryo are already attached to the uterine wall. The baby's development can be greatly affected by the following health and lifestyle issues: 

- Serious birth defect called spina bifida is a condition characterized by a baby born with a spine that is not closed. To help prevent this condition, many food items, such as bread, bagels and breakfast cereal, are fortified with folic acid which is effective in reducing the risk of this birth defect. 

- Alcohol is associated to premature delivery, mental retardation, birth defects and low-birth-weight babies. 

- Smoking can cause conception difficulties and may increase the risk of preterm labor and low birth weight. 

- Pregnant women should consult their physicians before taking any over-the-counter and prescription drugs due to the health risk it may cause to the unborn. Non-Steroidal Anti-inflammatory Drugs (NSAIDs) such as aspirin, aspirin compounds and ibuprofen can cause a decrease in the amount of amniotic fluid and cause closure of the ductus arteriosa, an important blood vessel in the baby. 

- Cocaine use is detrimental and life-threatening to both mother and baby. 

- Pregnant women who have periodontal infections and gum disease can increase the risk of pre-term delivery up to eightfold. Babies born to mothers with these infections are twice as likely to be admitted to a neonatal intensive care unit, and three times more likely to need hospitalization beyond seven days.

According to Michael Greene, MD, Director of Obstetrics at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, obesity is an especially critical issue for women of childbearing age. "Obesity is associated with many complications, because it greatly increases a woman's risk of developing high blood sugar and diabetes-either before they get pregnant or during their pregnancy," adds Greene.

The unborn is placed at high risk for a variety of congenital malformations, including defects of the brain and spinal cord brought about by the mother's obesity and diabetes. The babies are likely to grow large in size making it difficult to have normal delivery and may require ceasarean section.

Depression can also affect pregnancy. Women who get depressed when during pregnancy tend to smoke, drink alcohol or use illegal drugs which are harmful to the baby. Difficulty bonding with the baby and postpartum depression may also occur which is usual in women with a history of depressive illness. The cortisol hormone that the body releases during times of stress seems to make conception more difficult. 

However, exercise and getting plenty of sleep can help reduce stress.

Women are adviced to see either a doctor or midwife at least 3 months before getting pregnant for pre-conception counseling. This will help women learn about what steps to take to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Keeping a healthy lifestyle over the years can translate into a healthy pregnancy especially when it's past the prime of fertility years.

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Control And Responsibility For Teens

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Control and Responsibility 

Dear Daughter or Son, 


Earlier letters we touched on the concepts of control and responsibility. Let's go a little deeper with these important ideas.


If you ever find that someone's behavior is "driving you nuts," please slow down and look at the possibility of control issues on your part. Did you know that it is possible for you to try to control another person and not even be aware of what you are doing? It's very possible. In fact, this is a common dynamic in relationships that involve drug and alcohol abuse. However, this dynamic is often found in other relationships as well. It is something you need to know and understand in order to avoid bad relationships and increase your ability to develop good relationships.


Does it upset you when you hear someone gossip. Does it upset you when someone acts as if they are better than everyone else, or if someone is rude? These things can be aggravating, but if you stay irritated longer than most other people, stop and consider the possibility of control issues.


When you are upset by another person's behavior, it's usually because they are not behaving the way you think they should behave. You may know what the person is doing wrong and what they should or should not do. It may be clear to you that the person's behavior is harmful. If they would only do as you say they would be much better off. You want to help this person and it drives you nuts that they will not listen.


Remember that you cannot control another person. You can make suggestions, but you can't control the person and make them behave as you think they should. In fact, the only thing you can control is your own behavior.


Some of your discomfort may be because you feel responsible for the other person's behavior. You may feel embarrassed, almost as if it was your behavior. Think about this: If you can't control another person's behavior, how can you be responsible for that behavior? You are not responsible. You are only responsible for your own behavior. You can only control your own behavior. If another person chooses to gossip, be rude, or abuse drugs / alcohol, remember that they are responsible for that behavior, not you. You cannot force them to stop because you cannot control them. 


What can you control and what are you responsible for? You can only control one thing and you are only responsible for one thing, which is your own behavior. So, what can you do in these situations?


First, it is helpful to stop and think through the situation as it relates to control and responsibility. Are you upset? If you are upset, is it related to another person's behavior? Were you in control of that behavior? Were you responsible for that behavior? If not, then put that burden down. Take the weight off of your shoulders and feel the relief! It is always helpful to clarify what you are and what you are not in control of, and what you can and cannot do.


Now that the mind is clear, think about what you can control and what you are responsible for. This would be your own conduct. Now you can stop filling your mind with what the other person is doing and focus on what you can do. This removes a burden for you and it's much more productive. You may choose to have a conversation with the person and let them know that what you heard sounded rude or arrogant. They may listen and adjust their behavior, or you may be ignored. Either way, you have thought it through and chosen to act rather than react. You are responsible for your actions and you acted responsibly. Everyone is responsible for their own actions.


What about the person who feels guilty because they "made" someone angry? Does it upset you if someone becomes angry? I suppose that many people would feel some emotion. However, each person decides how he or she will respond to a situation. Sometimes they give it some thought and act, and sometimes they react with little thought.


Did you know that you can't make me mad? Don't get me wrong, I may become angry, but it will be my choice. I am responsible for my own anger. Before you smile too big, know that you are not off the hook. You are not responsible for my anger, but you are responsible for your behavior that I am reacting to. You see, I have a choice. I can become angry and ground you, or I can remain calm and ground you. That's not a very good example, is it?


The point is that not only are we responsible for our own actions, but we are also responsible for our own reactions and emotions [an exception would be the individual who suffers from a mental illness and a chemical imbalance that affects the emotions].


Have you ever known someone who is easily angered? Often, the people around this person bend over backwards and walk on eggshells to keep this person from becoming angry. There are several things happening here. First of all, the people around this person are trying to control another person. Do you see it? They believe that it is best if this person does not become angry. They are attempting to control this person's emotions by doing whatever it takes to keep the person from becoming angry. The problem is that all of this effort takes a toll on these people and they are miserable. It is frustrating because they are trying to do the impossible, that is, control another person. 


Secondly, these people are feeling responsible for another person's feelings. The more the person misbehaves with his or her anger, the more embarrassed the other people become.


Finally, these people are reinforcing this person's inappropriate anger. All the person has to do is become angry and everyone scrambles to please him or her. 


I am not suggesting that you should intervene in these situations and intentionally make the person angry, although that might be fun. I just want you to be aware of the moral force and not get caught up in the role of trying to control another person.


I hope that this is not confusing. I am telling you this to, hopefully, fend off confusion. I also want you to be aware of this dynamic and avoid trying to control another person or feel responsible for another person's behavior. Understanding the principles of responsibility and control will be valuable throughout your lifetime.

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Dealing With Social Anxiety!

       A speech in front of a hundred people.... but an audience of millions watching on national television. Sounds scary right? Absolutely.  It is not an exaggeration to say that there are so many people who are totally terrified of standing in front of a crowd.

        Being shy is a normal human reaction to meeting new people or standing before a crowd of total strangers.  But there are those who are extremely shy that being in a social activity, group event, or a simple party is a no-no.  Even just being around people and the thought of being watched by other people gives them butterflies!

        According to the Social Anxiety Association, people with this disorder are often misdiagnosed  as having a condition called schizophrenia.  Others think that extremely shy people are suffering from manic depression or some other personality disorder.  But people with Social Anxiety Disorder have a much more serious condition that just having the feeling of having flying insects inside the gut.

        Ordinary people experience shyness and some can actually fight off their instinct to clam up and shut up.  Others have it better like extroverts who thrive on recharging from social interaction.  But for people afflicted with serious social anxiety are often misunderstood, ridiculed, and resented by other so-called  normal people.  Genetics, social and cultural influences, and psychological factors also contribute to social anxiety.

        By knowing that a person has this type of anxiety disorder, or any other anxiety attacks for that matter, the immediate solution is often to ask for a doctor to prescribe anti-anxiety medication.   People dealing with social disorders can resort to the use of prescription drugs, coupled with counseling sessions.

       Anxiety medication is most effective when it is followed by one-on-one discussions with a therapist who could provide valuable information and tips to manage the symptoms of the disorder.  To recover from their problems, people with anxiety disorders need to gradually open up through therapy, consultations, or group psychotherapy treatments.

       All these will help out in dealing with their status, to start being open to other people.  Eventually,
patients in therapy would learn how to manage their feelings. Exposing them to proper group discussions, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and other effective anxiety medications can help them cure themselves without the use of drugs. Being socially unresponsive is really based on your personality and how a person sees himself in a positive manner.

       Anti-anxiety medications, however, must be taken only with the advice and approval of a doctor.  The unregulated use of these medications may lead to serious side effects.   Each of us is unique. Being
afflicted with social anxiety disorder is not the end of one's life...there is hope.  Confidence, self-esteem, and good old-fashioned guts will help people with social anxiety go out of their shell of extreme shyness and insecurity.  

        By taking steps to get healing and help, even the most socially-averse individuals can get treatment that is unavoidable to restore their lives and allow them to seek fulfillment in their everyday relationships with people.

The 10 Steps

1) Overcoming Shyness - learn how to calm anxious thoughts and feelings before you meet new people and when you are in their company.

2) Overcoming Social Phobia - stop being ultra self conscious by training your brain to switch off its social anxiety response

3) Be Yourself Socially - lose the mask and express yourself more naturally in conversation. 

4) Eye Contact - unconsciously know how to use the right amount of eye contact and other non verbal signals to show your interest in others.

5) Meeting People - get back into the habit of meeting people and enjoy healthy relationships with many people.

6) Conversation Starter - start conversations successfully by building rapport and creating a positive first impression.

7) Making Small Talk - small talk smoothes the way for big talk and helps you through difficult social occasions

8) Express Your Opinion - break the silence and tactfully voice your opinion.

9) Speaking in Groups - step out of the shadows and into the conversation by making regular, valuable contributions to group discussions.

10) I'm OK, You're OK - a useful model of how people interact, to ensure you communicate on the right level.

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