Control And Responsibility For Teens

 

Top 10 Sites Detailing Teens Responsibilities

 

Control and Responsibility

Dear Daughter,

In an earlier letter we touched on the concepts of control and responsibility. Let's go a little deeper with these important ideas.

If you ever find that someone's behavior is "driving you nuts," please slow down and consider the possibility of control issues on your part. Did you know that it is possible for you to try to control another person and not even be aware of what you are doing? It's very possible. In fact, this is a common dynamic in relationships that involve drug and alcohol abuse. However, this dynamic is often found in other relationships as well. It is something you need to know and understand in order to avoid bad relationships and increase your ability to develop good relationships.

Does it upset you when you hear someone gossip. Does it upset you when someone acts as if they are better than everyone else, or if someone is rude? These things can be aggravating, but if you stay irritated longer than most other people, stop and consider the possibility of control issues.

When you are upset by another person's behavior, it's usually because they are not behaving the way you think they should behave. You may know what the person is doing wrong and what they should or should not do. It may be clear to you that the person's behavior is harmful. If they would only do as you say they would be much better off. You want to help this person and it drives you nuts that they will not listen.

Remember that you cannot control another person. You can make suggestions, but you can't control the person and make them behave as you think they should. In fact, the only thing you can control is your own behavior.

Some of your discomfort may be because you feel responsible for the other person's behavior. You may feel embarrassed, almost as if it was your behavior. Think about this: If you can't control another person's behavior, how can you be responsible for that behavior? You are not responsible. You are only responsible for your own behavior. You can only control your own behavior. If another person chooses to gossip, be rude, or abuse drugs / alcohol, remember that they are responsible for that behavior, not you. You cannot force them to stop because you cannot control them.

What can you control and what are you responsible for? You can only control one thing and you are only responsible for one thing, which is your own behavior. So, what can you do in these situations?

First, it is helpful to stop and think through the situation as it relates to control and responsibility. Are you upset? If you are upset, is it related to another person's behavior? Were you in control of that behavior? Were you responsible for that behavior? If not, then put that burden down. Take the weight off of your shoulders and feel the relief! It is always helpful to clarify what you are and what you are not in control of, and what you can and cannot do.

Now that the mind is clear, think about what you can control and what you are responsible for. This would be your own behavior. Now you can stop filling your mind with what the other person is doing and focus on what you can do. This removes a burden for you and it's much more productive. You may choose to have a conversation with the person and let them know that what you heard sounded rude or arrogant. They may listen and adjust their behavior, or you may be ignored. Either way, you have thought it through and chosen to act rather than react. You are responsible for your actions and you acted responsibly. Everyone is responsible for their own actions.

What about the person who feels guilty because they "made" someone angry? Does it upset you if someone becomes angry? I suppose that many people would feel some emotion. However, each person decides how he or she will respond to a situation. Sometimes they give it some thought and act, and sometimes they react with little thought.

Did you know that you can't make me mad? Don't get me wrong, I may become angry, but it will be my choice. I am responsible for my own anger. Before you smile too big, know that you are not off the hook. You are not responsible for my anger, but you are responsible for your behavior that I am reacting to. You see, I have a choice. I can become angry and ground you, or I can remain calm and ground you. That's not a very good example, is it?

The point is that not only are we responsible for our own actions, but we are also responsible for our own reactions and emotions [an exception would be the individual who suffers from a mental illness and a chemical imbalance that affects the emotions].

Have you ever known someone who is easily angered? Often, the people around this person bend over backwards and walk on eggshells to keep this person from becoming angry. There are several things happening here. First of all, the people around this person are trying to control another person. Do you see it? They believe that it is best if this person does not become angry. They are attempting to control this person's emotions by doing whatever it takes to keep the person from becoming angry. The problem is that all of this effort takes a toll on these people and they are miserable. It is frustrating because they are trying to do the impossible, that is, control another person.

Secondly, these people are feeling responsible for another person's feelings. The more the person misbehaves with his or her anger, the more embarrassed the other people become.

Finally, these people are reinforcing this person's inappropriate anger. All the person has to do is become angry and everyone scrambles to please him or her.

I am not suggesting that you should intervene in these situations and intentionally make the person angry, although that might be fun. I just want you to be aware of the dynamic and not get caught up in the role of trying to control another person.

I hope that this is not confusing. I am telling you this too, hopefully, avoid confusion. I also want you to be aware of this dynamic and avoid trying to control another person or feel responsible for another person's behavior. Understanding the principles of responsibility and control will be valuable throughout your lifetime.

 

 

Text Addiction - Help Your Teen





What Are You Willing To Do To Achieve Your Weight Loss Goals

Clinical Research Proves That Eat Stop Eat Will Help You Lose Weight, Get Rid of Ugly Body Fat And Naturally Stimulate Growth Hormone In as Little as 24 Hours - Building Lean Muscle.

 

Best Weight Loss Program To Lose Weight Fast!

 

 

 

What are you willing to do to achieve your weight loss goals?

I'm approached quite regularly about which diet is best, which book would I recommend, and what exercise program should  people follow?  People think they can just purchase a book to read and then some sort of magic occurs whereby reading it will cause their fat to magically disappear. Well, I'm here to break the news to you, the $40 investment in your weight loss book is just the start, there's a lot of hard work and other expenses involved.

Time Investment

There's time invested in your education (reading, watching videos, etc.), the time you'll spend exercising doing both Cardio, and weight training. There's time spent creating your new meal
plans as well as preparation of those meals the day before, or days in advance. There's time involved in doing extra laundry because you're suddenly logging more exercising on your weight loss journey.

Let me ask you this: What's your favorite television show?  How much television are you watching in a given week? 1 Hour?  Six? Are you willing to eliminate television to allow yourself time to go to the gym and prepare foods for the next day? If not, then don't bother buying books that recommend food and exercise programs? It takes time to prepare food for 5 or 6 meals in a day and to go to the gym once or twice a day. Weight loss requires a time investment.

Food Investment

The quality of the food you put in your body is directly proportional to the quality of your cells. It's your cells that create energy and make your various bodily systems run, and if they give the best quality food, then they're able to regenerate and be healthy.

Conversely, low quality food creates a low quality cell. A low quality cell is not up to the demand of generating energy nor the proper removal of wastes which then results in sickness and disease.

In conversation with a fellow regarding his food program and how he could make corrections to his diet to improve his health, burn fat, improve his workouts and achieve his weight loss goal, I suggested a few "new" products. Oatmeal, some whole grain wraps, spring mix salad, and Essential Fatty Acid, Almond butter and whole grain basmati rice were a few places to begin.

"You didn't tell me how expensive it was going to be!" was his response.

Well, I don't consider it expensive, so I would not have said that it was.

Our cells are our power plants in our body. Our body is constantly rebuilding itself daily and hourly. Our skeleton replaces itself once a year and the muscular lining of our stomach and our intestines is replaced every 3 to 4 days, so it only makes sense to give it the highest quality food. Doesn't it?

You're probably going to come to the same conclusion that most other people do. The food I put in my body creates a healthy body and I must take care in my food choices.

Whole grain oatmeal costs more money than cocoa puffs. Raw almonds cost more than hickory smoked almonds and you probably never knew what Essential Fats or Pro Biotic were. Weight loss requires an investment in food.

Cutting Expenses To Reach Your Goal

If you're not able to increase the amount of food you eat financially or the quality of the food you eat (organic), then what are you willing to do to get it. Are you willing to cut some other costs? Are you willing to increase your sales at your job or home business to be able to afford this new change? The first reasonable step is to make some switches or replacements. Take note of non nutritional foods in your day - consider snacks, junk foods, coffee, pop, cigarettes (I hope you're not still smoking), milk or dairy products, alcohol, vitamins, tums, Rolaids, Pepto Bismol, etc. and see how much you're spending on a daily or monthly basis.

Are you willing to replace these for higher quality nutritional foods that will support you in your weight loss goals? It can be a scary thought for some people. Others accept the challenge readily because they've truly committed to their weight loss goals and are willing to do Whatever It Takes! Switching and replacing is the easiest thing to do. Weight Loss requires sacrifice.

Invest in Yourself

Your body, your mind, your soul and becoming the best you can be is the single best investment you can make. Make the decision to eat the cleanest food you can, make the healthiest choices you can, begin to switch from non nutritional foods to nutritional foods and let go negativity in your life. Weight loss is easy, but requires some investment.

Eat Well, Be Well
Aubrey J Porter

 

 

 

 







Truth and Consequences!

How Costly was this blunder?

 

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver set a precedent ruling by barring the Clippers owner from having any role with the team following the release of recordings of Sterling spewing racist rhetoric in a conversation with his former mistress. Silver said the ruling cannot be appealed.

 

The NBA commissioner permanently bounced an unapologetic Donald Sterling from the league over the Los Angeles Clippers owner’s flagrantly foul attack on African-Americans.  Outraged pro hoops czar Adam Silver made a fast break Tuesday with the basketball bigot, announcing his league would take a zero-tolerance policy toward Sterling’s hate speech.  “Effective immediately, I am banning Mr. Sterling for life from any association with the Clippers organization or the NBA,” Silver said flatly.
The ban was merely the first part of Silver’s three-point play: He levied a $2.5 million fine against Sterling, and vowed to do “everything in my power” to force Sterling’s  to sale the Clippers.

The fine is the maximum allowed by the NBA, and the ban is not open for appeal, the commissioner said. Sterling learned about the penalties just before the 2 p.m. announcement.

Photo by Mike Segar/Reuters

Silver also confirmed that Sterling, in their conversations, expressed no remorse about the anti-black comments made public by TMZ.com.
And Sterling, 80, who bought the Clippers in 1981, never denied ordering his girlfriend not to “bring blacks to my games” — an edict that mentioned hoops Hall of Famer Magic Johnson.
A lawyer for V. Stiviano the girlfriend, told the Los Angeles Times Tuesday night that she was never Sterling’s mistress — and claimed she had made the tape with his knowledge and had not released it.
Sterling’s edict on the explosive tape mentioned hoops Hall of Famer Magic Johnson.

I've said enough, he is a another rich man who thinks money can by his way out of any situation, but  it goes to show that money does not buy everything, and that includes peoples self respect, and dignity, neither are for sale, and nor is racist hate tolerated in a dominated sport that is no less than 70% African American, and other so called minorities making up a few more percentage points.

Focused Hate coming from an NBA owner is preposterous, and proved that there is no place in basketball for Hate, the Players are all in a association together as one, so when one is hurt, they all feel his pain and will try and support the associate member to the best of their abilities.

 

Donald Sterling banned For Life Fined 2.5 Million and will be forced to sell Team by Adam silver!

Basketball Is One Of The Most Popular Sports On The Planet! Basketball Classroom Was Built By One Of College's Winningest Coaches. Designed To Help Coaches At Any Level Win More Games.

Giving To Charities - Tax Deductions and Such

Benefits of Donating to Charities as a Tax Deduction

The tax code in the United States contains many provisions to encourage certain behavior. One area of behavior is the promotion of giving to qualified charities.

In the haste to make tax returns prepared and filed, many people absentmindedly forget to include deductions for donations to charities. If you itemize deductions on your tax return, this can be an expensive omission.

Pursuant to relevant provisions of the tax code, you can take significant deductions if you donate money or goods to a qualified charity. A qualified charity is one that is registered with the IRS as a 501c3 entity. The 501 designation refers to the relevant division of the tax code.

Significantly, not all charitable organizations qualify with the IRS. You can go to the IRS web site and search through a list to see if a particular group is included. If they are not, red flags should go be raised.

Before claiming your deduction for donations, there are a couple of things to keep in mind:

1. Politics - You may feel strongly about certain political ideologies, issues or candidates. You can contribute to the causes, but you can't deduct the contributions as charitable giving.

2. You can only deduct contributions actually made for the year in question. If you forgot to claim donations on your tax return for the 2004 year, you cannot claim them on a 2005 return. Instead, you should go back and amend the 2004 return.

3. If you make a contribution for a good or service, you can only deduct the amount you contribute which is in excess of the fair market value of the good or service. For example, many charitable groups will hold auctions to promote money. If your winning bid for a two night hotel stay is $800, you can claim a discount for the bid amount minus the normal price. You cannot only write off $800.

4. In general, donations of stock or property should assign the average market value, not an arbitrary number based on your judgment. Large ticket items should be held with an estimate.

5. The regulations for donating automobiles have changed. The charitable group should have sent you correspondence regarding the sum it was able to sell the vehicle for. This is the amount you can deduct, not the blue book amount previously allowed. If the charity has not sent you anything, call them to get written confirmation. They know it has to be done under new IRS regulations.
Donating to charities is a positive moral step. Make sure to claim your deductions to reap savings on your taxes.